Crying

I cannot deal with death easily. As I was falling asleep, from my nap, a reply came to my mailbox. "about this.. you better ask her directly. She didn't want rumors to spread."

... I called my friend immediately. When she picked up the phone, tears were already streaming down my face. We talked, though I didn't asked much, I just asked, which of her siblings passed away. She said the third one.

I cried as both of us talked. She didn't have any hint of sadness in her tone of voice and she laughed a bit when I said a lame joke.

I never met her brother. I don't think I've spoken to him before. I think I saw a couple of pictures of him in my friend's laptop but that's it.

As I'm typing right now, I'm still wiping my tears. I feel sad. I feel so alone.

I just need to talk to someone, telling me, death is a part of life and we can't avoid it. But as I am writing this, I feel much sadder and I can't stop crying.

I need to compose myself now. I'll drop by again later.